Work

Hellllloooooo last day of work, woot woot!!
(Yes, this means I'm writing this during work - or at least starting it at work)
(EDIT: Yeah, only got like 3 paragraphs written during work, lol...)

Wow, um... I have been working here for the past three months and two weeks, and... to say the least... it sucked. As the summer continued on, I began to dread more and more those nine hours I would have to spend each day in that tiny mailroom office, and I began to cherish more and more ANY time I got to go home, haha.

There were a lot of issues I had with this job.

I didn't like the way that people would gossip or talk trash about each other and other people behind their backs (and this was only worsened by the fact that we lived on one floor together - the line between work and personal life was seriously, seriously blurred). It bothered me that all three of my "bosses" (senior clerks versus our lowly conference clerk status) are self-acclaimed Christians, fairly involved in their respective churches (present or past), yet they were anything but the picture of grace and love that our Saviour upholds (and it made matters even worse because one actually goes to my church). And I couldn't handle just how confrontational people were, as I kinda had a small culture shock coming into this job (the vast majority of my coworkers - 10/13 - were either black or pretty immersed in the black community). Overall, the job was somehow stressful when it really shouldn't have.

But this job... it was such a great prayer that God had answered...

(See here to kinda understand where I was coming from in terms of job searching and whatnot if you don't already know from one source or another.)

When I first got the job, I was overjoyed! You know, I was thinking, "Wow, I serve such a good God, who provides for and watches over me!" But after a few short weeks, I was beginning to wonder why God had placed me here in this place. At first, I really thought it was God calling me to place myself in this workplace both as a financial source and a mission field, but as the summer continued on, I could just not see myself continuing through with this place for another four months. And after consulting multiple people, we all agreed that it was best for - and healthiest for - me to quit this job.

So how do I see God's hand over the duration of this job? Although the majority of my time here was unpleasant, boring, or stressful, there were various instances throughout the past 15 weeks that were very praiseworthy.

To begin with, just working this job was still very eye-opening. I was still very much so immersed into the world because of this job. I saw facets and aspects of people that I really had never seen before, because I've always hung around Christians or people with fairly Christian-like values, and in that way, God definitely opened my eyes to the depravity and brokenness of this world (particularly through the ways conflict arose and was 'resolved' in this workplace).

But above that, I got to have at least one good conversation with almost all my coworkers about religion and what they believed. By the end of summer, I found out that 11/13 of my coworkers either believed in the omnipotent God or practiced Christianity to some extent. And I think that - or at least hope that - in one way or another, I was able to be a light to them, whether it was in those specific conversations or through listening to Jesus Culture on Pandora whenever I was on the computer (although honestly, I personally kinda just needed that while I was in the office, haha....) or just the way that I carried myself in the office (I hope I did you proud, Jesus!).

For one specific coworker, I told her about how I wasn't coming back to this job for the academic school year. When she asked me why I had decided to leave, I told her how for me, part of it was just trusting that my God is a good God that will provide for me. Two days later, I found out that she wasn't coming back for the school year either, and when I asked her what made her decide not to come back anymore, she said that "that thing [I] said about faith" helped her come to terms with her decision to leave the job as well. (It was actually at that point that I found out that she was Christian!) It was so encouraging to know that just the way I spoke in conversation and was willing to be bold about sharing my reasoning for things (even if it involved God) could impact those around me. And that one comment from her actually got us into a really good conversation about God, the role we believe the church should have in our relationship with God, etc., and I even got to share with her my testimony of how God has been faithful to me as I personally struggled with the idea of community this summer.

If you want to hear about the specific conversations I was able to have with my coworkers, feel free to ask me how they went. I'd be more than happy to share, but... I don't think I should type them ALL out here, haha.

But yeah, as I look back and assess the past 15 weeks of work, I think it was really cool to just see how God was really with me. He truly was my guide as I struggled to see why He wanted me to be here at this particular job this summer. Praise Him for continually revealing the convictions for His heart and for truly never failing to love us - for discipling and pruning us so that we may lean not on our understanding as He sets our paths straight.